My little miracle

English version     –       Dutch version 

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Lying in my room, I couldn’t get up and pack my stuff. That’s all I wanted. But they, the doctors, didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was brought in with bleeding intestines. First I felt a lot of pain throughout my entire body and then I felt some bodyparts were getting numb.

Shaking

It was like my body was trying to stay awake, I could feel my body resist. I was shaking and I got cramps in my stomache.  But the longer I was waiting the less it hurt, the numb I felt and the weaker I got. With the numbness the pain was more bearable. I wanted to go to sleep but the nurses warned me not to. After a couple of minutes I couldn’t lift my arms anymore. I just fell down on the floor in the first aid waiting room. Then I was shaking uncontrollably and I almost dropped into a catatonic status and the nurses kept me awake by asking strange questions.

Drugged

Meanwhile I was loosing a lot of blood and they didn’t know what was wrong with me. The doctors couldn’t stop the bleeding. I had lost 1,5 litre of blood and I had to be on the drip after 10 minutes.
They gave me morphine so I didn’t feel the pain. I was lying on the intensive care I was throwing up, bleeding and because I was drugged, laughing loudly “hey, look at me I can play in a horror movie now!” I laughed, coughed and cried all together.

Clean prep

I had to prepare myself for an endoscopy, I had to drink 2 litres of clean prep. This cleaned my stomach and guts. I stayed at the toilet for a couple of hours. Throwing up, caughing, crying and forcing myself to drink the Cleanprep.  I was still drugged and I couldn’t stop lauging: “Now I am like the Japanese ghost on the toilet!” I laughed.
After I finished drinking the Cleanprep I was brought to the operation-room. There they found a big infection wound inside my intestines.

Eat to get stronger

I was brought back to my room for observation. Even though I couldn’t eat, I forced myself to eat, cause my life was depending on it. The doctors discovered it was an allergic reaction to something I eat previously. A couple days before I had finished some antibiotics against the flu and then the pain started.

Better now

After a couple of days, eating good and drinking a lot of water, I felt much better. The doctors were surprised to see me sitting up in my bed, smiling. “I feel better now, can I go home?” The doctors rushed me to the operation-room again for another lookup. They were surprised I was alright. It was a miracle, the wound was smaller! I was send home that day. I could recover at home. It took me half a year to recover, but the doctors there were impressed that the wound had healed fast. I believe it was a miracle, and I’m very thankfull that it happened to me. I feel so lucky. It’s like a little angel that is sitting on my shoulder. And she never left! Some times when I’m a bit sad, I just have to remember that she’s there….

Lots of love,

Suzanna

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